But the start: "First, the Earth cooled". That reminded me of the great scene in Airplane where the air traffic controller was asked how it all started and he said, something like, "first, we had dinosaurs and then they died and made oil and then the arabs came and bought Mercedes Benz's". Loved that one.
I loved Airplane!. I'll bet that was the inspiration for the opening line!
Well, I wouldn't be surprised, anyway.