Comments: Fun Facts for Today

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May I recommend The Game by Neill Strauss? It's the true story of how an author entered the belly of the beast of the secret society of pickup artists. I will confess up front that about 75% is total bullshit that anyone interested in a fulfilling relationship (friendship or romantic) with another decent human can do without, but there is worthwhile information that has helped me, about as introverted a person as you can get (I'm a republican Christian engineer, fer Chrissakes[Irony meter should be pegged now]) build friendships and find the good bits inside and have the confidence to show them. Is it terrifying to go out in public? Yes. Does it suck to approach people? Frankly, I'd rather be home reading. But getting to know people (especially women people) is close enough to being worth it to give it a shot.

Nothing's gonna change until you do, but man, I've been reading you for... well, a long time, and if I didn't live a half thousand miles south, I'd have a drink or a coffee with you (if you liked either, that is, which, as I recall you don't)

That, and I'm one hell of a Wingman.
:-D

Take it easy, mate, and remember, most of the book is shit, (especially most anything regarding Mystery) but it's at least entertaining and most of the characters start off as average frustrated chumps. Grain of salt.

Tommy.

Posted by tommy at August 19, 2008 11:28 PM

It's not so much that I don't know what to do. I'll confess that I did briefly check out some of that PUA stuff, and after separating the truth from the bullshit by combining it with actual observation (example: The vast majority of guys I've known who have had long-term girlfriends were what Strauss, etc. would disparagingly call "nice guys," but they were also funny and confident), I actually think I have a pretty good idea of how the whole dating/relationship thing works. I'm not planning to just go out and drop some negs on a +10 HB or whatever those retards say.

The real problem, both social and romantic, is that by the time I figured all this stuff out, it was too late to apply a lot of it. It was the last semester of college, and even though I actually started getting out and meeting people, it was all over a couple months later. After that, I spent a year at home (partially due to my brother having a fucking brain tumor, etc.), and then I went to New York for a month only to end up right back home again because I haven't found an apartment yet.

It's like I spent my entire life living on a beach and not knowing how to swim, and then when I finally learned, I woke up the next day to find that all the water on the planet had evaporated.

Does this make sense at all, or does it sound like I'm just making excuses? I don't want to try and use you as a life coach or anything, but it would be interesting to consult with someone other than my internal monologue to see if I'm at least on the right track here, and I know from occasionally stopping by your LJ that your social life is much less desolate than mine.

Wow, that was a lot of typing.

P.S.: Have I ever thanked you for continuing to read SIT despite the fact that I've spent long stretches either not blogging at all or doing nothing but complaining about how lonely I am? That's dedication, dude.

P.P.S: Are you on Facebook, and if so, why are we not friends yet?

Posted by CD at August 20, 2008 01:11 AM

Yes, I am, check away. Just note, i'm rarely ever on.
:-D

Posted by tommy at August 25, 2008 10:39 PM