Comments: Smiles... Not Forgotten

Oh, that's horrible. I'll pray for 'Kathy' and her family.


I know what you mean about names, though. I'm terrible with names as well.

Posted by Pam at May 29, 2009 08:11 PM

Next I see her, I need to tell her I'm sorry. I'm just trying to figure out how to say I didn't recognize her without it sounding as completely awful as it is. And how does one say, "I didn't know it was YOU that had cancer as I never remembered your name?"

Yeah, no good can come out of any of it. Really. Not that anything I can say can make it any worse than having metastatic cancer... but surely I don't need to add anything to the situation. "You look so awful and you are so insignificant not only did I not recognize you but I never remembered your name."

Yeah, not so much...

Posted by Bou at May 29, 2009 08:16 PM

Prayers for Kathy from here, too.

I always ask people to tell me their name again, and apologetically explain that while my memory for names sucks, the distinct discomfort of humbly asking again helps to cement their name into my brain. It usually works.

Posted by Joan of Argghh! at May 29, 2009 08:21 PM

.... beautifully said and felt....... and wonderfully written....... your friend is in our thoughts.......

Posted by Eric at May 29, 2009 08:38 PM

I too suffer from the name thing. I can recall all sorts of things about a person, but the name not so much.

Bou, I must say that your writing of this woman was well done. For what it is worth, you made me care about this woman who I have never met. You do have a gift to bring us readers into your world, and those you care about. So maybe you had forgotten her name, but you did remember your time together years ago. That is quite something.

Posted by jck at May 29, 2009 08:39 PM

Joan- I need to kind of hear it a few times. I'm just... dense I guess. Sometimes I take solace in the fact I remember so much about someone... I do care and do listen, but the name... good grief. A disaster. This is the first time it has bugged me. Normally I could not care less.

Eric- Thank you, Eric. I need to go back and proof it as I wrote this from my heart and I think there are typos. I just hit "POST!" and when I just scanned it I saw some punctuation errors. But this is what was in my heart... first draft.

JCK- And thank you for saying that. It is so kind. I wonder sometimes if blogging will be obsolete now with facebook (I don't do facebook), and I wonder if I'll just truly write for me. But I'm glad you feel part of it. If you're going to take the time to read, it makes me happy that you feel like you're there and know the people.

Posted by Bou at May 29, 2009 08:49 PM

that is so sad

Posted by wRitErsbLock at May 30, 2009 08:29 AM

FWIW - you don't have to tell her you forgot. When you do have a chance to see her again and it's appropriate, you can say, "I had heard you're battling cancer and I've been praying for you."

Or something along those lines. That should be good. You are thinking about the non-rememberance because it's in your head. She has no idea. For her it would be wonderful to know that people care enough to pray for her well being.

A reason for not mentioning it earlier - the time is not always right.

BTW - I am on facebook - nominally - I just can't seem to participate the way most everyone else does. I don't mind doing the status updates and leaving comments, but I don't have the persistence to spend too much time there. I prefer blogs. I guess I would now be considered a dinosaur. Heh.

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Posted by susan at June 7, 2009 10:41 PM