Comments: Lost

There is not much I can say other than I was very saddened to read this. My heart goes out to the mom's family.

Posted by Jim - PRS at December 27, 2009 08:49 AM

I have good friends who are in the same situation. I have seen a shift recently, where the wife is starting to accept the situation (not that she has given up hope), and they are working to prepare the young kids. It breaks my heart, and I cannot imagine being either parent - the one who leaves, or the one who stays...

It is the worst kind of situation, and my heart breaks for them. Prayers for your friends and their families as well.

Posted by jck at December 27, 2009 10:28 AM

This is just so sad.

One year ago, Dec 31 - a friend of mine was murdered by her husband. She had 2 very young children and one teenager. She had no time to prepare them either. I've been remebering the sadness for the last few days. So I sort of know where you are coming from right now.

Just so sad.

Posted by patti at December 27, 2009 10:43 AM

I just hope that I would have what it takes to hit it head on for my kids. I hope that I'd have what it took to use the resources required to help them... get Hospice counseling set up for them, talk to them about what's next, let their friends know, be open about it instead of the 'hush hush' that seems to be pervasive or the 'fantasy' that everything is guaranteed to be fine. Both cases... the kids were clueless. Whispering by the adults as to what is going on and speculation as to what can be done to help.

I don't know. The whole situation is so sad. I need to revisit my funeral plans. The blue dress I picked out five years ago when this first happened doesn't fit anymore...

Posted by Bou at December 27, 2009 11:01 AM

Bou: That is so sad. I don't think all of the counselors in the world can soften the loss of someone so close. Quick or slow ... is there ever a good way to go?

Posted by PeggyU at December 27, 2009 03:21 PM

Oh God... My heart breaks for these families. And for you Bou - being so close to those who have lost/are losing so much. It's hard to even think about...

I hate cancer. I do. May peace be with you and with both of those families... And with all who do battle with this gottdamn disease.

Posted by Richmond at December 27, 2009 06:40 PM

As long as you don't "do" anything then it's not real. Oh how I know that one. It's not just for those in their 40's... oh no not at all.

During the course of my father's life, he nearly died about 5 different times from various acute medical problems. Each time he survived, but I was told all along that "plans had been made" and "it's all taken care of"...

Right.

Last year in September when the last illness hit him, I was trying to get details from my sister and found... Nothing. Had. Been. Done. NOTHING. He was 85, dying, and no plans had been made. Even though we all knew it would likely not be immediate, we also knew he would not recover from the last acute medical episode.

Yet, nothing was ready.

Losing my temper, I hopped a plane to St. Louis as soon as I could - upsetting many other things I had going on.

I went home and made all the plans for my father AND my mother. At the very least, the basics are done. But I was not happy to find out that they were all living in a state of denial for so many many years. Good Grief!

So, yes, I do see how people can and will completely ignore what is staring them straight in the face because my family is a classic example of "if you don't acknowledge it, it doesn't exist". *sigh*

My prayers go out to the families who are ultimately left behind and completely unprepared to face that new life.

Posted by Teresa at December 28, 2009 01:44 PM