Comments: It's Time To. . . PUMP. . . You up!

So which pump did you get? We'll be having to buy one soon enough.

Posted by Beth at February 23, 2010 04:58 PM

Medela. Bought it at Target. It's on the spendy side, but totally worth it.

Posted by Ryan at February 23, 2010 07:01 PM

OMG, that is hilarious! Your wife deserves a medal for not killing you just for printing this alone!

Posted by Julie at February 24, 2010 02:52 PM

Those things are such a scam.

Like, you're not supposed to buy them used because there might be vaporized breast milk in the pump mechanism. But if you look at the pump mechanism, you'll notice that it only pumps one fucking direction. All it does is suck air to draw the milk out of the breast. The milk doesn't go *through* the tube. And certainly no air gets blown through the tube from the pump that might contaminate your supply. It's not like the breast pump has a REVERSE setting. WTF?

So if you're thinking about getting one, save yourself some money and buy one used. All that shit about vaporized milk is just fear mongering to get you to spend $250 fucking dollars on a machine whose function could basically be simulated by sticking the goddamn hose in your mouth and sucking rhythmically.

Posted by Joshua at February 27, 2010 11:48 PM

Shit, I tried telling my wife all that way back in August, Josh. Do you think I could convince her? HELL NO. She's in super-hormonal, everything-can-harm-my-child mode. She thought H1N1 was going to take our son down. A lactation consultant insisted a used breast pump was ill-advised. After that, what the hell chance did I HAVE of convincing my wife otherwise?

Posted by Ryan at February 28, 2010 12:07 PM

I bet there's a class action in here somewhere. It's like the Nestle baby killer boycott in the '70s, where they were telling people in poor countries not to breast feed their babies so they could sell more formula. These fuckers are playing on the irrational fears of new parents, and they need to get worked.

Posted by Joshua at February 28, 2010 06:15 PM

And it there *WERE* a class action lawsuit, those boob consultants would need to go down for being party of the conspiracy.

Posted by Joshua at February 28, 2010 06:18 PM

I stumbled upon this entry following a facebook entry and now I have to keep wiping the laughter tears from my eyes to write a comment... freaking hilarious Ryan!!! Not sure I would want Randy writing this sort of stuff about me, but am glad your better half allows you to write about these sort of things.

Posted by Tina Harris at March 1, 2010 09:59 PM
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