Comments: Repaying a Debt

HUG! That's all. Just a big HUG.

Posted by Mary at July 31, 2011 11:20 PM

But Bou, that IS being good and decent! You are an honorable person. :)

Posted by PeggyU at August 1, 2011 04:16 AM

Going along with PeggyU, someone who isn't good or decent wouldn't feel like they owed Joe anything. Or if they did, they wouldn't feel the need to do as much as you have done and are doing.

Posted by Andrew Phule at August 1, 2011 06:13 AM

Have to go with Peggy on this one as well. You don't have to admit you're good and decent, it just shows.

Posted by pam at August 1, 2011 10:02 AM

I'm no Saint. I wouldn't be doing this if I didn't feel indebted. It's very frustrating. I have no control. He's really not family. So nobody has to speak to me and I don't ask.... It's just different if its family.

Posted by Bou at August 1, 2011 10:47 AM

Doesn't matter your reasons...you're DOING it. It is not selfishness...it is gratitude for what Joe did. You're paying it back and even paying it forward...your sons see what you're doing, what it takes to care for the elderly. What it takes to be a 'good' person. And it's not just giving virtual hugs on FB and feeling content that you did your part. You, however, CAN say you did your part...and then some.

Posted by Mrs. Who at August 1, 2011 11:54 AM

but I think what adds to it is that he's NOT family. There really is no family... and so there is not alternation.

With my father in law... my sister in law came down for two weeks. My bil's wife took a week off and went every day. My husband went every day (it was his DAD!), and there was just an influx of people rotating. And we all had say. He was family. So if care sucked, we were jumping on people. And there were times that care sucked. We moved him out of one place because care was substandard. As family... we could do that.

But I"m not family. I have no say. I don't want say for someone I don't love like that. If this was my Mom or Dad? I'd be frickin' sleeping there and no way in hell would I allow the treatment I see because *I* would be there to make sure it didn't happen and *I* would be there to make sure things went as they should... and gladly, never questioning.

But there is no one for him. There is me and a neighbor. And I'm kind of done because really, Joe doesn't care. "Joe, why are you on oxygen?" 'I dunno.' "Did you ask what is going on?" *shrug of shoulders* Well you know what, if the patient doesn't care enough, then why should I?

The whole thing... and I don't see an end to it. I don't. I finally told his family they have to move him closer to me. I can't keep doing this. Whey Pop was sick, we found things close to us. If I'm going to keep going every day, they have to find some place closer.

Posted by Bou at August 1, 2011 12:06 PM

I think that is a reasonable request.

Posted by PeggyU at August 1, 2011 12:11 PM

And the family didn't put him in this place, the docs did based on who would take him and his complete crap insurance. It is really a disaster...

I found out today, the place I wanted to move him to that's closer won't take him.

Posted by Bou at August 1, 2011 01:41 PM

You might want to point his family here: http://lawelderlaw.com/

You have a big heart, my friend. Lots of people wouldn't acknowledge that there ever was a debt, let alone honor it.

Hugs!

Posted by Omnibus Driver at August 1, 2011 04:26 PM

Survivor advice and, deleted. Wow!

Posted by Curtis at August 1, 2011 10:33 PM