Comments: Aggravated Analogies

Ah, yeah.

Brains with all the functionality of of a homeopathic nostrum.

Posted by Alan Kellogg at August 23, 2011 09:51 PM

I swear I've seen some of these as entries in "worst similes" contests. As in, "make your worst simile."

If not, they should be.

Some of them are so bad, they're awesome beyond words. I am a richer human being for having read them.

J.

Posted by Jay Tea at August 23, 2011 10:42 PM

In fact, I would swear they were read on Car Talk. When I read them, I can hear Tommy's voice.

I'm gonna go have to check on this...

AH-HA!!!!!!

http://cartalk.com/content/read-on/2001/01.05.html

They credit the Washington Post.

J.

Posted by Jay Tea at August 23, 2011 10:48 PM

I should be worried. I actually liked a couple of those.

The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t." -- that's Terry Pratchet-grade stuff

Posted by richard mcenroe at August 24, 2011 10:39 AM

This post needs a Class 3 Beverage Alert and a NSFW warning - I'm pretty sure my coworkers were wondering why I was trying so hard not to burst out laughing.

Richard beat me to it. I think a lot of those are Terry Pratchett or Douglas Adams grade stuff.

As a matter of fact, the bowling ball one definitely seems to be Douglas Adams' style.

The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't. - The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Ch. 3, by Douglas Adams

The big question would be whether each one fit with the intended presentation of the work they were part of.

Posted by Jake at August 24, 2011 02:36 PM

But-but-but--

I *LIKED* number 10 !


"...hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup..."

Awesome.

Posted by A_Nonny_Mouse at August 24, 2011 10:01 PM

I thoroughly enjoyed these. Almost made me wish I were an English teacher, rather than a music teacher. For some reason, the befuddled offerings of an overenthusiastic, underprepared musician aren't nearly as funny.

Posted by MichigammeDave at August 25, 2011 05:49 AM

A friend of mine comes up with some good ones, and I think it's without trying. Here a couple I remember him coming up with.

"He was shaking like a chihuahua trying to pass a peach pit."

"It skimmed over the surface like a stone on a pond, until it it the wall and crumpled like a used Kleenex."

Posted by NevadaSteve at August 25, 2011 09:04 AM

" ... like a hefty bag full of tomato soup..."

Posted by jim at August 27, 2011 06:22 PM