Comments: Door-to-door revenge.

You are doing this the hard way. Just keep a beer can by the door, empty is fine as it is just a prop. When the unexpected knock comes, go to the door in your underwear, pick up that beer can.

Now, open the door and, with your free hand, scratch like a baseball player, smile real big and invite them in for a beer. They'll leave. The word will go out.

This will work even faster if you have a bit of warning and can pull on a set of your wife's underwear. Although you will probably want to make sure that it isn't a visiting blogger.

Posted by Peter at January 6, 2007 12:06 PM

That's pretty gott damned funny...

Posted by That 1 Guy at January 6, 2007 10:31 PM

No they won't leave. The assholes that used to canvass my area when I was a kid would praise the lord for such an opportunity.

I answered the door while cleaning a shotgun more than once and they still came back.

Until we started tying my 85lb Chow-Chow Shadow outside :)

Posted by Graumagus at January 7, 2007 11:18 AM

The same thing happened to me a few weeks ago. Doorbell rings, I roll over and politely ignored them...30 seconds later it rings again. This time I get up and the first words out of my mouth when I answer the door were, "Jesus-f**king christ, what the hell do you want?"

They begain to ramble, I just stared in des-belief.

Once my eyes adjusted to the sunlight (damn daylight savings) I said was "unless you have something alcoholic for me to drink, so I can put a damper on this hangover than this conversation is over." I gave them about half of a second to answer before I slammed the door.

I do not think they will be back anytime soon. ;-)

Posted by Jabbah at January 7, 2007 02:17 PM

Worst thing I ever did when I was youngerish ...

Parents gone for the weekend, went out partying, came home late, 7am those asswipes ring the bell insistently ... I am answer ... they ask if I believed in God ... I said no f**king way and slammed the door ... they came back every saturday for 4 weeks trying to save me ...

Posted by Quality Weenie at January 7, 2007 03:32 PM

See, it's these obnoxious evangelical atheists that give us non-believers a bad name :-)

Posted by Harvey at January 8, 2007 09:33 PM

My rule of thumb is that if you're knocking on my door at 8am you had best have beer or a warrant...

Posted by Graumagus at January 9, 2007 12:44 AM