Excellent post with excellent points. I had a similar experience in college with my black roommate. She was perfectly lovely but the race card being thrown around constantly does get old after a while.

Posted by lea at February 24, 2008 10:34 AM

I was a bridesmaid at my best friends wedding. The grooms sister was married to a black man. They both attended the wedding and at the reception the sisters husband got up and left making a huge scene because he was the only black person there. I was surprised at his rudeness, but truthfully, I had not even noticed him.

I have few friends who are people of color or other ethnicity. It's because I found it to be too much trouble after a while to make so huge an effort.

I won't trash someone else's experience of what it's like to grow up 'other' in this country because I have been privileged enough to not have had to deal with it.

Posted by Mare at February 25, 2008 10:18 AM

To be honest I am biracial but many people till consider me black. I grew up not identfing with one group or another. Now that I am in college and live in a mostly black neighborhood, I am amazed at how black people see themselves and the world around them. Also as a college student my biggest hangup is being one of the oldest students in class, not the color of my skin.

I hope that one day black people will look at all the progress that has been made and look at how far that progress has brought this whole country. I am not saying that everything is perfect but it is a thousand times better than even 20 years ago.

Posted by Reasa at February 25, 2008 11:08 AM

I'm with you Sarah.

I don't ever consciously notice someone's color/race/ethnicity until I get spoon-fed with a firehose about what a racist I most likely am (for NOT noticing).

My recent favorite? This ghetto home-girl that used to work in my office calling a white friend of mine prejudiced.... And my friend is married to a very dark black man. When I pointed this out, Home-girl goes, "Just cuz she married to a black man don't mean she ain't racist."

Uhm. Yeah. So now I wonder why I think you're a ghetto home-girl.

Posted by Allison at February 25, 2008 11:19 PM

Wow Mare, you consider it a privilege not to have to deal with people of other color or ethnicities. I'm sorry to hear that.

I would think that ALL people come with a certain degree of "drama", whether it be race, sexuality, culture, habits, etc. I would hate to exclude any of them from being a potential friend just because I thought one issue was more of hassle than another.

Posted by Vonn at February 27, 2008 02:17 PM

Vonn, I think you misread Mare's comment. Or at least I read it to say that she was privileged enough to "be white" and not have to deal with all that "not being white" entails.

Posted by Sarah at February 28, 2008 05:24 PM