The titles of your last four posts are "Breathtaking" (a phrase often used to portend 11:00 news stories of shock value), "BWAHAHAHA"(Evil laugh, of those who know something we poor readers dont), "This is the End (nuff said) and "Cashing in my chips" (Ending the game).

One doesn't need to be a total whack job to feel like your titles are some presaging, foretelling, whatever.

For cryin' out loud...could you post one that says "I Like Blogging" so the rest of us can get some sleep????

Love ya!


Posted by Tim Fitzgerald at December 6, 2008 08:30 PM

Wow. Profound post.

And I guess it wouldn't surprise you to know that I'm the same kind of person--needing to "cash things in" at the end of the day.

"Firehose," huh? Where have we two heard that before? ;)

Posted by FbL at December 6, 2008 08:50 PM

You will laugh when you read this, you know the other day after we talked, I talked to Dick, and told him about our conversation....

Well if that was not enough, I had to read him your brilliant essay of it as well...

I am a chip casher, a re hasher...

It would make great rap lyric for Most Certainly not I think.

So anywho I read it to him, and he looks at me like "didn't we just talk about this?"

Posted by AWTM at December 6, 2008 11:33 PM

So this post has me kinda choked up. You just summed up one of the biggest reasons deployment and reintegration are hard for me. Thanks for putting it into words.

Posted by Lucy at December 7, 2008 03:32 AM

You Hubby is probably prepared for your chips unload. He seems that kind of person from what you have said of him. AND.. he's reads this blog and talks to you regularly. I bet he is going to be ready with all the right words and reactions. Have a little faith in him, expect the best and I'm pretty sure that is what you will get. I think you're having the pre-integration jitters. I'm not saying "get over it", I'm saying things WILL be good again. Remember he lost those babies, too and I think you mentioned he is not the type to talk to others about it, so you both have some chips and grieving to do together.

Posted by Ruth H at December 7, 2008 09:52 AM

the way you felt talking to AWTM on the phone was how I felt when you were talking about anticipatory grief at the Milblogging conference 2 years ago.

As for the chips, I have them too. And the our last deployment was incredibly tumultuous on this end (and not so much on his end) too. I worried a lot of the same things as you.

It will be ok. Even though he hasn't be there to see the moment-by-moment growth that you've experienced, he loves you and you love him and it will all work itself out.

Posted by HomefrontSix at December 8, 2008 02:56 AM