First, spiffy checkerboard background. Tres chic.

"the biggest 'moral value' in this campaign was the idea that people who kidnap others and decapitate them should be put out of business."

But this of course only after we put them in business in the first place by preemptively and unnecessarily invading an Arab nation, an action counterterrorism experts assured us would increase terrorism worldwide. Sure enough, the State Department tells us worldwide terrorism has spiked since the war began. The subject of beheadings, once limited to goth circles, is now a wonderful topic of conversation for all to enjoy, God bless America. State tells us that anti-American anger in the Middle East has reached "shocking levels," as luck would have it, and even 40% of Canadian teenagers now think America is a force for evil. You have to hand it to us; we are REALLY GOOD at creating terrorists.

Then of course we catch a few of the ones we create. Not too good at catching the big guys. Anyone remember bin Laden? Didn't think so. Right, he didn't behead people (well, maybe he did but if so I never saw the tape), but he IS the top guy in an organization that flew planes into a few of our favorite civilian-filled buildings. (Ayman al-Zawahiri, the former leader of Egyptian Islamic Jihad, who has helped him run the organization, also alive and well somewhere).

A few months after 9/11, Bush told us, "I don't know where [bin Laden] is. I have no idea and I really don't care."

See, this is where Mr. Bush and I disagree. For some odd reason, I think it's somewhat important to go after the guy who commits the greatest terrorist attack in the history of mankind, rather than pursuing a stale old foreign policy project from the 90's that we could have undertaken anytime. No, Saddam DIDN'T have any nukes. Mohamed ElBaradei of the IAEA told us this before the invasion.

So the State Department tells us that on 9/11 there were 45 countries in which al-Qaeda was operating. The USA, Canada, Europe, the Middle East, etc. Iraq wasn't one of them. Today al-Qaeda has expanded its reach to at least 60 countries, and Iraq has happily joined the fray. How wonderful for those of us who so enjoy watching videos of people being beheaded.

Mr. Bush, circa a few months after 9/11:

"I'm not that concerned about [bin Laden]."

"I don't know where he is. No, you know, I just don't spend that much time on him to be honest with you."

Well, f**k you very much, Mr. President.

p.s. "We will make no distinction between the terrorists who committed these acts and those who harbor them," said our commander-in-chief. True to his word, Mullah Omar of the Taliban, still at-large. Saddam Hussein, however, who'd been sitting quietly in the Middle East for over a decade, a man of whom Colin Powell described in 2001 as having "not developed any significant capability with respect to weapons of mass destruction" and whom terrorism experts said was not collaborating with al-Qaeda, is now on trial before the world, so we can all forget about that 9/11 ugliness. "After all, this is the guy who tried to kill my dad," Bush said. True enough, true enough. Again, f**k you very much, a**hole.