Comments: Oh Gawd Tell Me IT'S NOT SO!

Please allow my interjection here, as the father of two girls of similar age. Girls today are far more catty, and cliquish, and cruel, than what you experienced. I have these conversations every day with dispirited mothers. I went through it, too. I don't even begin to know what causes it, but the level of hatred young girls show each other is blasphemous. It starts at about 8 years of age, and if you're lucky your child is well-adjusted and has a few friends by tenth grade. Middle school is total hell. My older cried the whole time, my younger just punches them in the face. But she has bonding issues.
What is wrong with girls today? They should be sisters, and yet they hate each other. I'm completely confused here.

posted by Velociman on November 19, 2004 03:33 AM

Velociman - Key, don't get me started. I am sooo glad that I have a boy, just because I don't have to go through the emotional train-wreck that is raising a little girl these days. Little girls were super-mean when I was younger, too, and I've got horror stories that would curl your hair. Even so, I think Kim is right in that today's girls are meaner.

My youngest stepson is 14. He has a girlfriend who is also 14, who has a Live Journal. He was using my computer the other night and left her page up; of course, responsible parent that I am, I bookmarked it for later examination and quietly closed the window on it.

When I read this child's journal that night, I was beyond shocked. Not by the explicit references to sex, drugs, and rock and roll - typical teenage posturing - but by how MEAN this girl was, and how much evil shit she and all her friends talked about this one girl in their class. It was like a whole website devoted to the concept that "Clara" is a fat smelly whore. It was revolting. I have no idea what my step-boy finds attractive in this girl, but you can believe we're going to have a little talk about civility.

I don't know what is up with girls. I am one, but I don't understand it, either. I wasn't that way, ever. Of course, that being the case, I barely emerged from middle school unscathed. ;)

posted by kelley on November 19, 2004 03:47 AM

Thanks guys. I hate this. I would take the bullet for her if I could.

We just had this little brat over to the house last weekend, and this week she's decided my baby will be the victim of her drama. Last week it was the "other" friend. The rest of the class is insignificant. These two girls are the only ones worthy of her friendship, and every week she chooses one to befriend and one to ignore. She's tormenting both of them. I think it's high time the drama starter be the odd man out. I believe I'll be calling the mommy of the other victim to arrange a sleepover...

Oh yeah, so it has started. God, I hate it for her.

posted by Key on November 19, 2004 04:24 AM

The beauty of the situation, my dear, is that your daughter will pick her own friends. She will pick a few losers, understandably, but year over year she will pick good friends.

Believe that, understand it. She will find the cool ones. After tears and angst.

posted by Velociman on November 19, 2004 06:01 AM

Oh, Key, I really feel for you and Miss Priss.

Unfortunately, my 11-year old (almost 12) Sweet One has not been so sweet the past couple of weeks. Much to my disappointment, she has been the one alienating her former best little friend (a child I adore) and creating havoc. I remember how mean girls were when I was growing up, but our babies are starting this so much younger these days. I don't know how big a role hormones play in all this, either.

I have to agree with Kim, our daughters will eventually find their way.

I posted about this earlier this week (http://feistyrepartee.blogspot.com/2004/11/sins-of-mother.html) and am afraid my daughter is in for a very rude awakening. One she richly deserves at the moment.

Good luck,

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