Comments: A Grocer Haiku

No price check needed
Key is grocery naked
Can't afford that game

posted by Velociman on February 20, 2005 11:32 PM

While I like your sentiments Velociman, your verse is off by a few sylables. 5 - 7 -5. And no seasonal theme.

Here let me help you with that verse:

No price check needed <---5 sylables
Key is grocery naked <---7 sylables
Summer is coming <---5 sylables, seasonal theme

or this

Grocery naked
Glimpse of cherry blossoms
Key shivering

posted by Jesse Brown on February 21, 2005 09:50 AM

I count his as 5-7-5, but the very last one there is 5-6-4 by my count.

But nevermind that! Who said anything about ME being naked in a grocery store?

Give me a little credit... My subconscious is the freak. ; )

posted by Key on February 21, 2005 12:53 PM

Sex in ice cream
melting from passion
is a cold heat.

posted by Acidman on February 22, 2005 10:45 AM

Once, with a woman named Beula
I siezed the advantage to fool her
I felt like a man
Till the butter pecan
Ran us both from the ice cream cooler.

posted by Acidman on February 22, 2005 10:54 AM

Rocking the buggy,
Tipping forward, backward.
Clean up, row six nine.

posted by Adam on February 22, 2005 05:06 PM

Clean up.. Nice touch, very nice. ; )

posted by Key on February 23, 2005 03:34 PM
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